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I am not one to mumble and mutter and moan on about what's going wrong in my life...while it's going wrong, so I have been absent the past few days. First off, Peanut is totally fine so everyone breathe.

I have been having some serious issues with eating for the last week, two weeks...by that I mean - I eat food, and then 30 -45 minutes later my heart POUNDS out of my chest, causing me not to be able to breathe, I feel heavy and I nearly pass out. I called my doctor last Tuesday and told them my symptoms, they said increase your protein because your blood sugar is causing you to crash. Fine. So I do that. Thursday I had the worst episode yet and could not breathe properly for two hours. After the first hour I called the doctor and they told me to get in there as soon as I could - well that scared the shiz out of me. A friend from work took me to the doctor where blood work and such were tested.

Basically, I have problems with blood sugar. It's not gestational diabetes, if anything it's the exact opposite. When I eat, my blood sugar sky rockets, and the "crash" is what I am feeling, causing the racing heart, inability to breathe, etc. I have to minimize my carbohydrate intake (significantly) and pretty much cut out sugars. Thankfully, I don't like sweets that much, but the two times I've crashed the hardest were after grape jelly and apple juice. Yeah, yeah - it f'ing sucks.

I've spent the past 5 days trying to figure out what I can and can't do, and more often than not, I have failed. Sugars get me - bad. Carbs are okay minimally, and I mean like a TINY bit of mashed potatoes. Eating smaller portions helps the most. If I basically eat like 4 almonds here, a tiny Nutrigrain bar there it doesn't happen.

I like to eat. I like to eat a lot. So I had a small breakdown, but peanut will be worth it. Like I say, he's fine - they checked his heart rate and I feel him move all the time. It's just mommy who has to suffer this time. I already prefer it that way. So here's hoping it's only temporary or at least goes away after the baby boy gets here. I'm trying to look on the bright side - at least I'll minimize weight gain as well, because well no Thanksgiving and Christmas sweets for me! Just protein, protein, protein!

p.s. My hands are a little swollen so I had to take off my wedding rings today. So now not only do I look like I'm 15 and pregnant - I now look like I'm 15, pregnant and not married. Fantastic. haha!

That's it! I'm moving to Canada.

I just stumbled across this information regarding the maternity leave policy in Canada. I've always had an issue about the American maternity leave - 6 weeks is just not enough to bond with a child that you just birthed. It's just not. NOW, after reading this. I think I may move to Canada for my next child. Bring on the maple syrup!

"Maternity benefits are paid for 15 weeks, and only a birth mother is eligible to receive these benefits. Even surrogate mothers, or those whose babies do not survive, may apply. Parental benefits are paid for 35 weeks, and partners and adoptive parents may receive these benefits as well. If parents share benefits, the total between them may not exceed 50 weeks. In addition,there is a 2-week waiting period on the shared claim, so the total time away from work is 52 weeks..."

http://www.strocel.com/canadian-maternity-leave/

52 weeks? FIFTY-TWO WEEKS. That's a year, folks. And I get SIX? And two of those six are my PTO. WTF, man!? I don't blame my work, of course, because this is a standard policy in the US but DANG we need to do something about this. I think I shall now write a scathing letter to my Congressman.

f.i.f.t.y.t.w.o.w.e.e.k.s.

Update on Peanut.

So - I went for another prenatal appointment this Wednesday, and after measuring me for the first time they've basically determined that I'm farther along than initially thought....meaning he may be here sooner! Ahh!

When we went for the ultrasound at 17 weeks, peanut measured 8 days ahead but they chalked it up to operator error because moving one millimeter means days worth in measuring a baby, but I'm measuring 1.5cm ahead, too - so now it's a lot more probable that I really am farther along! They haven't officially changed my due date but the doc said he totally thinks peanut will be here earlier in February. My bet is on Super Bowl Sunday. (Feb. 7)

Of course, it's all speculation anyway and I might just be having a big baby - but we're all so anxious to meet our little man that thinking he might be here sooner is really exciting :)

"Fetching..."

I have a confession to make...I was a jerk today. (Who, me?) Yes, me. I was the jerk who wasn't paying attention when the light turned green because I was too busy reading everyone's status updates on facebook causing who knows how many cars to miss the light. Birds flying. Horns honkin'.

Okay it was only for a split second that I wasn't paying attention and no one really flipped me off or blew their horn, but I'm being dramatic here, okay!?

So anywho, once I regain the football field between me and the car in front of me, I got to thinkin' (you know, I think I'm going to name my car "Dawn" because I seriously have 90% of my epiphanies in the car) when the hell did I get so wrapped up in other people's statuses? Do I really CARE? Is it a habit? Boredom? Am I afraid I'm going to miss the newest gossip on what people had for lunch, how awful they feel, how they wish it was Friday already, how they wish their entire weeks away for a weekend (you know, one day they're going to wish they had that droopy, sucky Monday back when their days are limited - but that's for another post).

I recently resolved to only check status updates on my Blackberry 3 times a day between 8 a.m and 6 p.m - once I'm home I can press refresh on my computer until my little finger is sore and soak up all the statuses my brain can take. I allow - once on the way to work when I'm sitting in traffic for one poorly placed light for 15 minutes. Once at lunch, and once on the way home (enter said jerk) while sitting and sitting and sitting on every road I turn "Dawn" on.

This obsession of knowing whats going on with the 480some-odd friends that I have on facebook dates back longer than I even really realized. I remember my computer illiterate ex-boyfriend getting SO mad at me because I spent so much time tooling through AIM looking at "those stupid yellow thingys" beside all of my Away friends screenames. Did I really need to know their quote of the day or the song they liked at the moment? Nope. Sure didn't. Didn't learn a thing from it ('cept for maybe some good gossip).

I have come to terms with the fact that I am a facebook stalker. I'm one of many, and the sooner people can admit that they, indeed, stalk too - we can take a step in the right direction towards getting back to our own lives and the things that matter the most...

Ahhh - who am I kidding? It's so much fun to know what's going on in people's lives! I don't know why! I don't know what the draw is!? It's like we just. gotta. wanna. needa. getta. hava STATUS UPDATE.

I am totally off my rocker today.

Cat Woman.

When I was a little girl I wanted a kitten. My Daddy hated cats - never liked them, still doesn't - so we never had them. I don't remember how we came about obtaining "Buttons" but he was an orange and white tabby cat and he suddenly was welcome at our house. About 6 hours into having this new animal, I distinctly remember sitting with him in the back yard near our swing set when the stupid thing went nutso and scratched the mess out of my arms like I had just kicked him. Screw having cats. I'm on team I-hate-cats. I've been a member for 16 years. Got the jacket and the t-shirt. I can't stand a cat.

Pause - I know most of you (if not all) probably really like cats - so, I must interrupt with - I have no problem with you having a cat and I'm glad that you like yours. In fact, I would be nice to your cat if I saw it and wouldn't even try to run over it if I came to your house. I personally just want nothing to do with the feline species as far as pet ownership goes. You may feel the same way about chocolate dogs. To each his own. That said...

The stare. That flick of the tail before attack. The sudden quick movements. The claws. The nurturing of the furball for YEARS before it acknowledges you or trusts you and God knows you better not do something it dislikes ONE time or your own its' litterbox list.

While thinking about how much I loathe this creature and how dogs are just WAY better one day, it suddenly occurred to me that the reason I may dislike cats so much...is because I'm just like one.

I have the stare. The distrust. The sudden movements when you piss me off. My temper flares. I trust few and you do one thing I dislike, and well, you're on MY litterbox list.

After years of seeing friends and family turn their backs on friends and family I live somewhat of a guarded life when it comes to relationships. Of course I'm generally friendly and will be nice to mostly anyone I meet (unlike a cat,) chances are I don't fully trust you until you deserve it - much like a cat. I also have the ability, especially during certain times of the month or when pregnant, to flip my shiz for no reason at all, whip out the claws, leave you with a lashing and then totally expect you to pat my head when I come waltzing up later.

Dogs are the jam. I love all dogs immediately, and only dislike them when they prove to be idiots or vicious - but I don't want to be like one. They're trusting, goofy, loopy, silly and did I mention trusting? Most dogs, when in the face of danger, would probably rather lick it to death in hopes of there being a treat somewhere afterwards than to actually protect itself or it's owner.

I would rather be like a cat but a good cat. One that trusts few, but loves and adores those that they do. Who is beautiful, hypoallergenic, graceful, always lands on their feet and knows good and well why you just got attacked, even if your not smart enough to figure it out yet. With this new found knowledge and perspective, perhaps I am at cat person after all!

Award!

So, Ashley gave me an award about eight years ago and I just spazed and forgot to tell everyone. Ashley, I really am appreciative! :)

Here are the rules:
1.) Thank the person who gave this to you.
2.) Copy the logo and place it in your blog.
3.) Link the person who nominated you.
4.) Name 7 things about yourself that no one would really know.
5.) Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers.
6.) Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.
7.) Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know you nominated them!

Seven Unknown Facts:
1. I started learning the violin (and then piano) at age 4. [Teach your kids young, folks! They won't ever forget!]
2. I only had perfect attendance one time in school - the 3rd grade. It was because I loved my teacher, Mrs. Mills.
3. However, I was late almost every day.
4. I hate coffee.
5. Peanut just kicked me.
6. I don't think I've ever said this on my blog - I'm a Sigma Sigma Sigma.
7. I want to get married again (to Nate) just so I can plan another wedding! :)

More things I've learned:

In celebration of making it to 20 weeks and being half way to meeting my little man, I thought I would share a few more things I've learned since becoming preggers. It's been a heck of a ride, and the best part seems yet to come.

Vampires aren't the only things that cause anemia. My nose bleeds near constantly - especially at night. I wake up with blood on my face, hand, pillow anything I may have touched while dreaming. Not to mention, I have to have my head propped up on Mt. Everest in order to be able to even remotely breathe through my nose. This is probably my least favorite symptom of my second trimester.

You can not be held responsible for what you dream. I got an e-mail from BabyCenter one day and was more-than-relieved to find out that strange dreams are a common occurrence in pregnancy. I'm talking uncomfortable dreams that make you wake up and feel shameful. Cheating. Lying. Spouses cheating and lying. All normal. Monday night I dreamt that Nate cheated on me with none other than Megan Fox. I distinctly remember thinking in my dream that I couldn't blame him because she is so hot (haha!) but I woke up in tears.

Practice makes perfect. Every night now - Every. Single. Night I have to get up and go to the bathroom. I have the capability of "holding it" of a 3 year old - nonexistent. Waking up at 2:00a.m. has made for being awake at least 30-45 minutes in the middle of the night as a) I wake Bailey up who then thinks it's time to play and b) I wake Nate up and make him realize suddenly that he, in fact, needs to pee, too. I told him that it's just God's way of giving us practice for being up in the middle of the night with a crying baby.

Walking in your closet can suck. I am half way done with pregnancy and also half way between my old pants (via help of a bella band) and my maternity pants...and it sucks. My regular pants are split to the point that the zipper won't budge upward in the slightest, but my maternity pants fall down. Before I went on vacation to the beach I sat in my closet and cried because I had nothing that fit right. I know, woe is me.

Baby kicks are interesting and wonderful. Most all mother's tell me feeling their baby move is what they miss the most about being pregnant. It's awesome, wonderful and a little weird all at the same time. Sometimes he feels like a little fish swimming around in there and if I think about it too much it totally makes me feel like an alien. I don't like it when he rolls on to my bladder and makes me have to pee four times in an hour, but I try not to complain. One of the best lines out of Jenny McCarthy's book Belly Laughs (which I HIGHLY recommend - it's hilarious) was how she was frustrated with how often her son got the hiccups but then a friend told her to look at it this way: it's just his way of saying, "Hi, Mom! I'm in here - and I'm okay." I'll live in the bathroom if that's what he's trying to tell me!

Shopping in a maternity store isn't half bad. I was terrified the first time I walked in to Motherhood Maternity Outlet - not because of the price or admitting that I needed much larger pants, but because I had no freaking clue how to understand sizing (honestly, because I've never looked). SO - to save you future mommy's some anxiety...you wear the same size you do now! Who knew? If you wear a large top regularly, you buy a large maternity top. If you wear a size 3 jeans you look for small pants. Medium dress = medium dress. I don't know what the heck I expected, but it wasn't going to be that simple in my mind. I thought I was going to need a measuring tape and scissors and some glue to figure out how to dress my newly developing body. Not so! So easy - annnd if you're in a maternity store they typically offer you water or juice. Ahh the perks!

Speaking of perks... I have grown a whole cup size. This is a way major, huge, ginormous, exciting, BIG deal for me. I have struggled to fill an A cup my entire life. I never knew what growing pains felt like because I never had them. Now my A cup overfloweth. You may not want to know that, but I don't care. :)

While we're on the topic- Breastfeeding terrifies me. Terrifies. You need me to dilate to 10cm and push out a watermelon? Awesome. Done. But, you want me to do WHAT with what, where and pump what into that bottle? I can not explain it. Having a complex about being on the itty bitty titty committee my entire life has led me to be somewhat...protective (ashamed?) of the general area, and the sight of it (with the OH SO INFORMATIVE reading material), thought of it, everything makes me want to curl up into a ball and cry. I literally had a panic attack when we stood in front of the breastfeeding section at Babies R Us two nights ago. I know, I know it's silly and I have no idea how I'll feel when he's born -but - I haven't learned that yet! This is me telling you how I feel now!

Registering is fun! We decided to start early simply because my showers will be earlier than "typical" because of the Christmas holiday. I don't want to monopolize anyone's time so most of my showers will be done by November. No regrets already - there were two other women that were reeeeally pregnant registering and they looked miserable. I on the other hand had a great time. Still worn out - but had a lot of fun.

Well, I hope everyone enjoyed a peek into my brain. I know I may be shallow at some points, but just tellin' ya how I feel! Happy Friday!

Help?

Does anyone know how to unlink the two blogs that I have? Meaning that they are two seperate websites rather than one connecting to the other.

I'm trying to expand my cake business and don't really want random people I give my card to to have to read all about my personal life.

If anyone knows, holler at ya girl :)

Premonition.

Last night I got home around 8:45 from a lovely dinner with my Mom & Dad. Nate, being the avid hunter that he is, haaaad to go to the woods because, "I haven't been out there ALL season!" Bow season (for deer) started Saturday. He really hasn't missed that much. Bless.

Anyway, I'm be-boppin' along with my dog and come in the house to find that, well - I didn't leave myself a light on in the kitchen, so it's dark and I immediately get scared. I flip the switch, take a deep breath and continue in. Rounded the corner of the kitchen and notice that my bedroom light is on. I do not recall leaving this light on. The way our house is laid out from my kitchen you can see (through a window) my bedroom door that leads out to the back yard. I just kept staring at it like I was going to see a shadow or something. If you're nervous imagine how I felt!!

I put it out of my mind, but refuse to go in my bedroom. In fact, I refused to leave the kitchen. Well I'm about to calm down, I mean Nate is only 5 minutes away - surely no one will rape, murder and dismember me in 5 minutes, right? (that was harsh, I know - but these are my thoughts) Blood pressure is returning to normal and then the chocolate dog lowers her head and lets out a threatening growl staring straight down the hall at..where else? my bedroom.

Oh, hell no! I grabbed my keys and cell phone so fast Speedy Gonzalez woulda been put to shame, calmly called Bailey and we got our butts in my car. I called Nate and told him that I refused to stay in the house until he got home because I just had a strange feeling. No reason to feel strange, really - I just couldn't stay. He surprisingly didn't ask questions and said he would be right there.

Minutes later we all pull back in (Bailey and I circled the neighborhood) and I sit in my LOCKED car with the window cracked mere inches while I have Nate search my house. This, my friends is why I am glad that my husband is a "gun-toting redneck." He opens his safe, grabs a gun that would take down an elephant and goes in. I pity the fool on the other end of that piece of metal and gun powder. Moments later he emerges and tells Bailey and I it's safe to come out from under our rock and that nothing was wrong at all in the house.

Didn't ask questions. Didn't make me feel stupid. Just did it. Now THAT is a good husband. I'm now calm and have come to the conclusion that it was my nerves, hormones, something - but really, nothing. I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong somewhere so I checked in with my siblings - all fine - and then just prayed for everyone I knew.

In my defense, in the past I have had feelings like this and totally been right. Illnesses in family members, my sister having a bad night, an animal dying at my parent's house - I mean numerous occasions. This is why I took my instinct seriously.

While trying to confirm my sanity, my Mom just said that sometimes we get these feelings that we can't explain and it's better to err on the side of caution rather than be sorry. I mean maybe there wasn't a person back there, but there could've been a snake, or a giant spider or something like that that might have harmed me had I gone back there at that time. Better safe than sorry, kids. Better safe than sorry.