A Nice Break.

I've spent the last few weeks getting acclimated to life as a parent.  Whoa - yeah.  It's a wild ride!  I've learned so much, and yet felt so dumb, all the while growing to love a tee-nincy little boy more than I ever thought possible.  I've taken a break - a break from work, writing, cake decorating, living life as I used to know it.  I've spent a few great days on my couch watching two or three Harry Potter movies while holding Little A, and I've spent days doing nothing but cleaning.

Now here we are nearly six weeks into life as a Mom (yeah, he'll be six weeks old next Wednesday!) and things are slowly going back to the new normal.  I did my first cake last weekend, and have been so pleased with how many people didn't forget about me :)  I already have 4 orders for March and have been asked to do three more wedding cakes!

While I'm okay with things going back to normal - I'm not okay with the thought of working just yet.  I seriously could write a really loooong letter to my Congressman (or whoever I need to yell at) that six weeks is just.not.enough. for maternity leave.  I haven't even begun to scratch the surface of my son's personality, likes and dislikes and according to corporate America I'm just supposed to hand him over to someone when he can't even fully control his head movement yet.  Uhh no.

Luckily, my firm has been so understanding and is allowing me an additional two weeks (I couldn't take the full 12 FMLA weeks because of my bedrest - that's another letter to the Congressman) and I am fortunate enough to have my Mom willing to keep little man when I go back.  I don't like it though and that's all I have to say about that right now.

I've also taken a break from reading other blogs - not by intention - just by exhaustion.  I sit down on the computer and totally forget what I'm doing.  So, I apologize if I haven't commented on your blog in a while - I haven't forgotten about you and promise to catch up soon!

Now, it's time for me to go to bed...super early, on a Friday.  I'll just be up in three hours anyway! :)

Motherhood is...

A full time job.  Crazy.  Rewarding.  A feeling like never before.  Waking up at 1, 4, and 7 a.m.  Lots of laundry.  Wearing a baby bjourn for the first time.  Fun.  Nerve-racking.  Endless amounts of pictures.  Smiles.  Tears.  Playing dress up.  The biggest responsibility of your life.  The reason I had to stop 7 times to do something for the baby while writing this post.  A little scary.  Sleep depriving.  Amazing.  Loving your husband in a new way.  Seeing your parents light up when they look at their grandchild. Sustaining another life.  Constant prayer for your child.  Learning to do everything one-handed.  Sheer joy when he smiles...even if he doesn't know he's smiling yet.  Changing diapers.  A tiny hand wrapped around your finger.  Talking like an idiot in your "baby voice."  Looking at the world in a whole new light.  Being the person that can make the baby stop crying when no one else can.  Trying.  Staring at him because he won't be this little for long.  Cleaning just to clean up again tomorrow.  Driving slower because there is now a life more important than yours in the car.  Being nervous every time he grunts in the middle of the night.  Crying because the baby is a whole week old.  Expensive.  Discovering that you can, in fact, sleep for several hours without moving while the baby lays on your chest.  Having to make time for yourself.  Appreciating family and friends.  Not to be taken lightly.  Remembering what it felt like to sleep for more than 3 hours at a time.  Googling every.single.thing. you worry or wonder about.  Re-prioritizing your life.  Pure Joy.

My sweet baby boy is here!  Austin Phillip was born Wednesday, February 3, 2010 at 4:21 p.m.  8lbs 2oz.

The past few days with him have been wonderful, and I'm just trying to soak it all in :)  Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers.  I'll post my Baby Story soon!

Awesome Award.

Thanks to Amber at Random Ramblings for this awesome award - seriously this is hilarious.

This award is all about recognizing friendships that have been made while blogging.

The Rules:

1. List 6 things you are a master in.

2. Pass it on to 6 bloggers you think are a master at friendship, and make blogging so awesome.

My Six Things:

1.  Cake Decorating.  It's kinda become my thing - who knew someone who can't draw and didn't think they were creative could make a pretty cake!

2.  Planning, Organizing and Cleaning.  I am SUCH a organize/clean freak.  Explains why my peanut's room is spotless and everything is in it's place and practically color-coded. (not really color-coded - but seriously I like things in order.)

3. Memorizing music.  Over my 24ish years of life, I have been able to play 4 instruments - 2 of which I haven't played in years...but I guarantee you (thanks to a completely God-given talent) that I could remember all of the songs that I learned on those instruments without much mess up. 

4. Arguing. I possibly should have continued my once childhood dream of being an attorney - because I can pretty much figure out a way to twist something to my advantage and make myself right...every time.  However, my conscience and will to keep friendships and my husband, has helped me to overcome thinking that I have to be right all the time...even though I am. :)

5. Getting things done.  You give me a goal or task- whether it be at work or whatever and I will dominate it - unless I just don't care to!

6.  Being friendly.  Which sometimes isn't a real win for me because you get ran over - but, I'm pretty good at reading people - especially people who are "down" and figuring out how to make the happier.  I have a really hard time being mean to people even if I can't stand them.  This is not to stay I won't stand up for who/what I care about - it's not good to piss off a "nice" person.  haha

My Six Friends:

1 and 2 are Ashley and Amber (who gave me this award) - I knew them in high school, but the blogging world has made me feel closer to them sometimes then people I see on a regular basis.  (as weird as that may sound - if you blog, I think you understand!)          

3.  The other Amber - stalking out a sorority sister of mine :)  And the other people I follow either don't know I exist (like The Pioneer Woman - who I LOVE) or wouldn't want to re-post this award.  haha

Check, please.

I apologize for my absence.  Things have been quite hectic these past few days and I haven't been in much of a mood to write.  At my doctor's appointment this past Monday I was released from bedrest - which while I'm thrilled to be able to start doing my own thing, it also means I'm supposed to go back to work.  Not so thrilling.

How in the world do you go from doing positively nothing one morning and then that afternoon you are to begin doing everything per usual.  Couldn't someone have mentioned at least ONE time that I would be going back to work after 36 weeks?  I mean don't you think that is some information I deserved for a doctor to have mentioned?!  It's definitely a shock to the system that can't be explained.  I haven't made a decision outside of what pajamas to put on in weeks, and now I'm supposed to return to a 10.5 hour day (including travel time) just like that?!  Long, emotional story short - I am going to return to work this coming Monday.  I don't want to - and I think it's stupid to go back to work just to go into labor but whatever.

I have begun to progress though - 3cm and 60% effaced as of Monday (sorry if this is TMI for some of you).  And I will be 37 weeks tomorrow, so bring on the baby!  I've been doing my housework and attempting to mentally prepare for work all the while hoping that I go in to labor...as soon as possible.

I have been having Braxton Hicks contractions...false labor...CONSTANTLY - and I mean contractions at the very, very least every 12 minutes (they average around 8 minutes and have gotten down to 5 minutes a few times) since Thanksgiving...in November.  Y'all, I am over this false labor crap - bring on the real stuff and let's DO this.   

So I'm off to eat Mexican food, walk all the time and do er...um...that other stuff that they say induces labor ;)

Side effect: Bravery?

So you guys have no doubt heard me moan and drone over the past eight-ish months about the side effects of this wonderful thing we call pro-creation.  There have been vision problems, nausea and vomiting, nose bleeds, and many, many other ailments that have come my way in these 35 weeks.  At times the suck-factor of pregnancy has been 10+, but as I sit here and write, my little man has the hiccups causing my whole belly to jump, and well - I can already tell you that he's gonna be worth it.

Pregnancy does have it's positives.  I grew a cup size (woohoo!), prior to bed rest - people were super nice to me and always held the doors open for me and offered to help frequently with anything I did,  the vitamins gave me smooth skin and long, healthy fingernails, and I got to buy a new wardrobe (I think that's a positive) to name a few. 

As previously mentioned, I have been re-reading the Harry Potter series, and I'm currently half way through fourth installment, The Goblet of Fire.  This book begins to show the darker side of the series, and it is no longer as light-hearted as the first three.  I am a scaredy cat - and while I don't shake in my bones reading this one (that happens in the books 5-7) it makes me nervous.  The Goblet of Fire just so happened to be on TV last night as well.  So, I have a fresh memory of exactly what Voldemort (the bad guy, for you non-Harry Potter readers) looks like.  He creeps me the freak out.  Annd I keep hearing the music of the Tri-Wizarding tournament before the maze scene, which while light-hearted and springy, leads to the scariest part of the movie.  So basically what I'm trying to tell you is - I was nervous when I went to bed last night.  Also suffering from insomnia - what a way to spend the night.

A good ten minutes after I lay down, Nate's sound asleep, Bailey is snoring and I'm staring at the ceiling. (Stop picturing Cedric die) I toss (stop thinking about Voldemort's weird nose and ugly head) and turn (stop thinking about Harry's pain) and then...I have to pee.  I don't know about y'all, but since I was little, I decided that as long as I was under the covers in bed, I was safe - only when my foot or hand slipped off the side was I vulnerable to the bad things (wolves, monsters, whathaveyou).  Even if I am sweating profusely, I'm not taking those covers off!  Well going to the bathroom involves leaving the safety of the fort - and I'm just not ready.  Peanut gives me a nice smack in the bladder and it's either wet the bed or get up. 

I think happy thoughts and crawl out of bed (only after shining my cell phone light at the floor to ensure that Voldemort isn't there) and begin my journey to the bathroom.  Half-way there, I ran into something around knee height at the foot of my bed.  A freaking shirt.  (Where is my wand?!)  I felt freaking clothes, someone is perched at the foot of the bed on all fours waiting to jump up and curse me, the chocolate dog and my husband who is blissfully unaware that I even left the bed.  You know what I did?  

I turned around and kicked the sh*t out of it.  It was at that moment that I (my toe) realized my dear sweet, blissfully unaware husband left a piled-high laundry basket at the foot of the bed with one of his shirts lying over the top so that it felt like a t-shirt draped over someone's back. 

I then walked on to the bathroom and cried.  No really, I didn't cry, but I was sweating so bad that my clothes were stuck to me and I felt like my heart was just going to pound right out of my chest.  Then it occurred to me - the thought that crossed my mind when I walked into this would-be-attacker was, "oh hell no you didn't - this is MY house and I will protect my family."

Where in the WORLD did that come from?  If this would have been a few years ago, I would have screamed, jammed my fingers in my ears, and ran to the bathroom, locking the door for Nate to have to deal with the offender alone. (Chicken.  I told ya!)  But somewhere in this past few months I found something - courage or bravery or some sense of protectiveness over the things that mean the most to me. 

Had that actually been someone crouched at the foot of my bed (after slapping Bailey for being a terrible guard dog) I would have realized that my kick would have done little to no good.  It wouldn't have maimed them or even hurt them, but daggum it, I would have tried.  I guess being protective is part of the package of becoming a Mom.  Perhaps those maternal instincts will kick in after all...

Brief update.

Brief update on the baby peanut.  I had a doctor's appointment yesterday, and since I have spent the last two weeks on bedrest and medicine, we are at a point that it looks like we may be able to make it past 36 weeks!  Woo hoo!  At my 36 week appointment they will take me off the medicine and "let nature take it's course!"  I am to remain on bed rest and keep up with the meds, but things are looking much better for us than the last time we were at the doctor!

Life's Little Blessings.

By order of the doctor, I have now spent 11 days in my bed or on my couch - only getting up to go get food, go to the bathroom or shower.  I have done well to stick to these orders considering the fact that I am a control freak and like to keep stuff clean -- not to mention, I'm nesting, and so not allowed to nest!  I've had to focus completely on the baby's safety and health, and forget making sure the kitchen is spotless - Nate has only had to force me to sit down a few times.  It's just so aggravating to just sit!

I have, however, had time to do things that I would have usually put off until later or just not done at all.  I've re-read the first two Harry Potter books - halfway through the third now, watched all my Christmas gift DVDs and lots of cartoons, stalked countless people and pictures on facebook, got started back up on writing my book (yes, I'm writing a book - and honestly, I think it's a pretty good story if I can just keep at it!), and probably most importantly, I've rested.  I think I may have finally recovered from my months and months of late nights making cakes while super-preggo!

I was feeling pretty good this morning, so I got up and...packed my bag for the hospital.  Talk about a reality check.  How in the world does one pack for probably the most monumental event that will ever occur in your life?!  Comfy clothes, socks, hairbows, toiletries, and a coming-home outfit.  Ahh!  It is just all so insane, and nothing seems good enough.  I'm sure if I was allowed, I would go out and buy a new outfit to come home in for me and the baby.  Tomorrow I hope to pack little man's bag: fleece receiving blanket (it will be chilly!), an outfit or two just in case, and the coming-home outfit. 

With all the pre-term labor issues we have had, he could come today - or in 6 weeks.  We really just don't know - our most recent goal was to make it to 34 weeks, and praise God, we've made it.  I'm 34 weeks today!  Next goal - 36 weeks!  Being prepared has taken on a whole new meaning for Nate and I.  Of course, we may never be fully ready, but at least we'll be as prepared as we possibly can be should he decide to be a January baby instead of February!

In all the hustle and bustle of the Holidays and hospital visits, I think sometimes I forget to sit back, stop complaining and just count my blessings (in January - not your typical November Thanksgiving).  There is so much to be thankful for:

I made it past December 19th - As I have gone on and on about - I did my first wedding cake that day, and in the weeks before it was as though I knew something was going to happen unexpectedly in my pregnancy, so every time I thought about it - I prayed that I would "just make it to Dec. 19th"  "Lord, please just let me get this done."  I'll be danged if I didn't start having contractions Dec. 20th...haha

I was able to pack a bag for the hospital- some people get no fair warning that their baby might come early (ahem, my Mom with me) and are left a month early being told not to go home and pack but to come straight in.  Nursery not finished, carseat not installed.  Nothing.  Not being able to feel like I at least had something that I liked with me would make me so sad.  It's just not the same to have someone else pack it for you!      

I made it to 34 weeks -  I know 34 weeks isn't the typical goal for Mom's, but it was a goal that was set for me by my doctor and we made it!

"Your baby now weighs about 4 3/4 pounds (like your average cantaloupe) and is almost 18 inches long. Her fat layers — which she'll need to regulate her body temperature once she's born — are filling her out, making her rounder. Her skin is also smoother than ever. Her central nervous system is maturing and her lungs are continuing to mature as well. If you've been nervous about preterm labor, you'll be happy to know that babies born between 34 and 37 weeks who have no other health problems generally do fine. They may need a short stay in the neonatal nursery and may have a few short-term health issues, but in the long run, they usually do as well as full-term babies."

I have an amazing husband- These last few weeks have been trying at best, and without Nate's constant support, I just might have lost my mind.  I've been lonely while he's at work, but he's always good to call and text throughout the day just to say hey and to see how we're doing.  I am very fortunate to have a better-half that isn't above cleaning the house and putting up Christmas decorations.  Sidenote: Nate was offended that in my last post I did not mention in my list of the great things that happened in '09, that he shot and killed two deer this year - one being his first 8 point.  So thanks, not only for being there for, me but for providing food for the family. (...happy now?) :)

Oh, and that crazy chocolate dog, too :)

A Year in Review.

2009 come and gone already!?  Every year seems to come and go faster and faster as I get older, and I have a feeling that with a baby coming oh-so-soon it's not about to slow down.  It's time to focus in on enjoying every day as it comes and stop wishing for Friday or next Tuesday or that vacation months away to hurry up and get here because - well my gosh! it will be here and gone before you even know it!

It has been a good year for Nate and I - we were able to take a few vacations, including our one big trip overseas to London, celebrating our second anniversary, and my cake business grew and grew hitting an all-time high with my first wedding cake!  (p.s.  I'll be back in business some time around late Feb./early March - so go ahead and get your cake orders ready and in!) But, no doubt when we reflect back on 2009 we will remember all of the times circling around the pregnancy with our first child.  Taking the at-home test (June 5, 2009), telling our parents (June 6, 2009), hearing the heartbeat for the first time (168 bpm), getting our first glimpse of the little one (it's a boy!), and making it together through morning sickness (13 weeks of it), weird migrane/contact issues that caused me to lose vision, round ligament pain, and two visits to the hospital for pre-term labor. 

It's been a roller coaster ride straight from Six Flags, but we could not be more excited to meet our little man - who apparently is really excited to meet us too, but God willing he won't come until 2010 (he's still got about 11 hours, and nothing would shock me at this point!) haha

All in all, I have enjoyed '09 and am looking very much forward to 2010.  A new baby and all that comes with it.  Nate and I still plan to travel (I know it will be harder with a baby - got the memo) and I can't wait to see which destination we pick!  We have a "bucket list" of sorts for the traveling hotspots we want to visit at some point in our long lives together - and baby peanut just may be one of the best traveled kids of his time...at least we hope :)

I wish all of you a very Happy New Year in 2010!

Bed Rest.

Yes, those dreaded words have just recently entered my vocabulary of pregnancy.  I was again admitted to the hospital Tuesday night after having consistent contractions.  They were 3 minutes apart for a good 8-10 hours.  Thankfully, no dilation - but with contactions like that, it is/was sure to start.

Friends, I believe in the power of prayer.  I had been given 1 shot and two different kinds of pills when the nurse came in and gave me a second shot and said this was my "last chance" before I was to be put on magnesium - a very, very powerful drug with terrible side effects for me.  I mean the thought of being put on it made me cry.  Before that nurse left, she laid her hand on my arm and prayed that my contractions would stop and reminded me that we have faith and claim it.  She came in two hours later (4am at this point) to tell me that I was doing wonderfully and I was not going to have to take the magnesium.  Prayer works even when medicine doesn't want to.

I am now on a pill every 6 hours as needed for my contractions - and I've needed it every six hours since I left.  They just will not stay away on their own.  The medicine makes me jittery and my heart race and the little man usually gets the hiccups when I take it, but it has effectively kept them away.

If I'm being completely honest - they just want me to make it to 34 weeks (which thankfully is next Saturday, Jan 2) then they won't make me go back into the hospital if I start having them again they'll just let them come.  The thing with these contractions is - the doctor told me that I could keep having them for weeks and weeks and the baby not come because technically there is no dilation so I'm not in labor.  It's just that at almost 33 weeks, it's too much of a risk for them to allow me to continue to have them.  We don't want our little boy here just yet!  They have reassured me that if he did come, he would be fine - would just be in the hospital for a little while, but he would be fine.

So, I am asking that you please pray for the peanut.  And pray that these darn contractions STOP!!  I can't wait to hold my baby boy, but I want him to wait a few more weeks!  Thanks everyone!