Drinks all around.

Last night I made a rare appearance to the downtown Charlotte "scene." While my initial plan was to write a negative review of this so called scene, I realized that quiet a few, if not all of my friends/readers like to go out. It's just not my thing, but you go right ahead and party til' six in tha moanin'.

Instead, I shall outline a few of the infamous people that can be found at nearly all bars/clubs. For your sake, I'm going to hope that you've never been one of these people.

Snooty Girl - Yeah you know her. She's the one standing with her vodka tonic staring seethingly at the birthday party, bachleorette clan or people who just need a good drink with her nose in the air. This girl makes comments like, "She really needs to pull her dress up." or "She must not get a lot of attention at home." or "Some people are just so trashy."

Dear Ms. Snooty Girl: You are at a bar. People come here to drink alcohol and forget their problems, and unless they're hitting on your man or stepping on your toe repeatedly, simmer down.

That Girl - Yes, that one. The one on the bar with her dress falling down, or up, that everyone is staring at with laughing or mocking (see Snooty Girl) eyes. You drink your sex on the beach like it's nobody's business and don't give a damn who your 1970s dance moves offend (hit, knock down, maim or paralyze)

Dear That Girl: Most of the time you are just awesome and provide entertainment for all to see. Only advice, try not to be That Girl in place where you know more than 5 people.

Resident Drunk - Here's the guy that has been drinking since about 1 p.m. and is in full black out mode. Anything said or done in your time near him will not register in his short term memory section of the brain tomorrow morning - or in 30 seconds. He's the one that gets overly offended when you tell him, "maybe you should have a water next," and is escorted out by an entourage of men with big muscles and black shirts. "See ya tomorrow, Johnny."

Dear Resident Drunk: Try not to touch anything or anyone as it will be perceived as offensive, and maybe pace yourself next time.

The Designated Driver - I commend you as I often find myself playing this role. Bless your heart, you stand there and try SO hard to dance, but it's just so hard to find the rhythm when you are keenly aware of Resident Drunk, That Girl and Snooty Britches.

Dear Designated Driver - Keep up the good work and try to have fun.

The Married Bartender/Bouncer - He's good looking, charming and can make a hell of a drink. You think you've fallen in love until your eyes move to the left hand, fourth finger and oh! he's married. Whoops. I take back all that stuff about us living happily ever after. It was just a joke.

Dear Married Bartender/Bouncer - You're awesome, and your wife should be proud of how you handled That Girl. Why are you working at a bar again?

I challenge you: look around next time you go out. They are all out there and they aren't that hard to find!